I’m not fat, I’m Italian!

I get it. I have to go on a diet. I have to eat cold salads and chicken everyday. I recognize and understand this idea. And I promise I will start my diet right after the Holidays. I know it seems like an excuse, but if you knew what the holidays were like in my family you would understand why I cannot say no to eating everything in sight on these particular occasions.

Let’s take the Vigil (La Vigilia) for example. The Vigil is a feast that consists of seven different seafood dishes to represent the seven sacraments. It’s a celebration of the wait (Vigilia di Natale) for the midnight birth of the baby Jesus, but more truthfully it’s a celebration of food. Allow me to show you:

Haddock with Tomatoes.

Cioppino.

Aioli.Spaghetti with Tuna & Olives.

Fettuccine with Muscles, Scallops & Shrimp in a Cream Sauce.

Calamari.

Smelts.

Stuffed Clams.

Scallops with Farfalle.

Bruschetta with Anchovies.

Buccala.

Bread & Olive Oil.

Navals.

If you ask me to be on a diet, especially a low-carb diet, on the night of the vigil I will slap you. If you are a true Italian you will understand the fervor I have for this night; the passion for this food. Those who aren’t Italian simply don’t understand. Until you’ve wiped homemade tomato sauce off the side of your face with a fat slice of Italian bread you’ll never understand.

I'll start my diet after the holidays, til then buon appetito!

Happy tuesday.

Day one of my diet and this is what I walk into at work:





Happy friggin' Tuesday.

This, my friends, is called a cookie swap. Everyone makes cookies, and/or some other kind of sweet treat, and then swaps them for more cookies. Loads of Holiday fun for the normal person, the equivalent of a loaded heroin needle to a junk food junkie like me.

Somehow I made it through the entire eight hour work day without even a nibble of a cookie. I know what you're thinking "Oh, Gina! good job! You have such will power." But my not caving in and smashing 28 cookies in my face has nothing to do with willpower (well, maybe a teeny-weeny bit) and everything to do with the time of day. I'm not a morning or afternoon eater, I'm a night eater. The fact that I was busy at work sipping my beloved iced coffee saved my diet today.(Day one and I'm already having to be saved.)

But, it's not just annual cookie swaps that I have to deal with here at Satan's Vagina (aka my place of employment). No, cookie swaps don't even begin to graze the tip of the enticement iceberg. In the field of education/child care, food temptation take on many attractive forms,such as:
Morning snack.
Afternoon snack.
Greasy, fatty oh-so-forbidden, mouth watering school lunches. (Shout out to Pizza Wednesday and Mac & Cheese Monday.)
Staff Pot Luck dinners.
Staff meetings endowed with free pizza for all and build your own sundaes.
Children's birthday celebrations in the form of Hoodsie Cups and whipped cream.
Parent breakfasts.
And so on…

Working in a school setting is risky on one’s willpower. Everyday is a struggle to not gorge-especially when everyone around you is gorging in their skinny jeans.
Since I'm being 100% honest in this blog no matter what, I have to admit that today when I was sure that no one was looking, I stole two bites of a piece of pizza and then just as quickly dumped the remaining evidence in the trash. I don’t know why I did it. The want for that cheesy, doughy, saucy smorgasbord of goodness overcame my better judgment. I wasn’t thinking about the ramifications of eating it like how guilty I would feel afterward or the five days of constipation that are sure to follow. All I could feel at that moment was desire.

I can't be the only person with massive food temptation at work; so, my question is, what are your work temptations and how do you overcome them? I'm dying to know.