The cupcakes made me remember this time when I was watching Wanda Sykes stand-up and she went off on this tangent about dieting. She was talking about how through the years she's heard so many little tricks one can utilize in order to cut calories throughout the day and thus lose weight. One trick, for example, is to scrape the frosting off a cupcake before eating it. That's where the joke comes in. Wanda shouts, "A cupcake with no frosting?! That's like a puppy with no head!"
I totally get what Wanda is saying. Sometimes when it comes down to eating healthy/dieting it feels like I'm sacrificing the most delicious parts of my food! Yesterday I had an egg with no yolk, tuna with no mayo and a burger with no bun! It straight up sucks! It sucks watching every morsel I consume like that. Counting, cutting and condensing my food intake sucks! But is the alternative, eating whatever I damn well please, worth it? Is it worth having the yolk if it’s going to raise my cholesterol? Is it worth adding mayo if it adds to my ever-growing chin? Is it worth mowing a sesame seed bun if it makes my buns bigger? Of course it’s not worth it! I know that, so why is it SO hard to remember sometimes?
Nobody ever said dieting was going to be easy or fun. If it was we’d all be walking around looking like Megan Fox and clearly that’s not the case at all since obesity rates here in the United States are currently among the highest in the world! But I don’t want to be a statistic. I don’t want to be just another fat lard that dies of a massive heart attack from clogged arteries because she couldn’t put down the damn Boston Cream Donuts! I want to feel healthy and I want to look good naked!
So there it is, my new years resolution: to look good naked. By July I would like to be able to strut down Mayflower Beach in a real life bikini and look good in it. Anyone can slap on a bikini and call it a day, but to actually look good in it is a whole other thing. As of now, if I squeezed myself into a bikini I would look something like the ballerina hippo from Fantasia. Not pretty.
I have some work today and I want to get started right away! So here’s to 2011! Here’s to cupcakes with no frosting and puppies with no heads!
PS: Of course I had one of the cupcakes I made along with whatever other delicious noshes I could get my hands on at the baby shower. I'll start tomorrow...
Good luck Gina!!!
ReplyDeleteBut don't think of it as a diet. It really is a lifestyle change if you want to lose weight and keep it off. I've tried so many diets but it took me 3 years of healthy eating and healthy living to keep off my weight loss.
Nothing should be off limits; it should just all be about moderation. :-) Hope you have a wonderful new year! <3
I love puppies with no heads! But a cupcake with no frosting is just awful!
ReplyDeleteGood luck girl! I can honestly say, dieting sucks big time but I think you are going the other way than I do. I hardly ever eat tuna, burgers, egg whites.... I eat quinoa, wasa crackers with some turkey and veggies, spinach salads, apples, protein, occasionally rainbow sherbet and I drink a lot of tea and water. If I want a cookie, I'll eat one because it takes a lot of damn cookies to make you gain weight so fast. Try to remember you are supposed to eat a little fat each day, and if you are exercising, you need to eat for your energy. Try to eat colorful natural food so that way you can eat cupcakes lol. You can do it!
ReplyDelete